Competition

I flew into my home town Sunday afternoon. It feels nice to be back in the Midwest, honestly. I’ve missed snow. Mostly, I’ve missed my dog. He’s gained at least seven pounds since I left. Dad feeds him hot dogs instead of normal dog food. I put both my dog and my father on a diet. Dad’s normal weight is somewhere around 175-180 pounds. He’s currently at 196. He got me a one-month membership at his gym, which is open 24-hours a day. That’s profoundly comforting.

One of my best friends from home, also my former lab partner, Mallory, took me out for lunch today. We went to a Mexican restaurant. I ate half a taco. Dad and I went and worked out for about an hour and a half. He pushes me on cardio, I push him at lifting (let it be known that I can out-lift him by at least twenty pounds on everything). My diet’s already cleaning up now that I’m not so stressed, and it’s getting easier to cut back on calories. Food in general. I keep wavering between wanting to eat enough to build muscle, and just wanting to be thinner. I think I’m just being desperate and whiney. But it’s a weird thought to hover around. I just need this layer of fat around my stomach to get the fuck off of me. Mallory’s lost at least twenty pounds since the last time I’ve seen her. She’s still not thinner than me, but she looks great. No, I’m not being catty (no, no, that was catty, I accept it). But I really am genuinely happy for her.

Aside from the taco, I had salad and homemade veggie soup today, and a protein shake. I haven’t had enough water and it’s seriously taking a toll on my mental capacity. Being on diuretics can be a drag, but I’m going to keep using them until they’re gone. Yes, I know it’s just water weight, and it’ll come back when I stop taking them, and I’ll stop in a few days, but it’s nice to see the number go down.

I can’t sleep here. I’m writing this at 2am. I’ll post it in the morning. Dad’s so technologically illiterate that he doesn’t even bother to get internet. Gotta love him. Come to think of it, if I can’t sleep…I can always go to the gym.

Update: Worked out twice today. An hour and a half each time. I love being on vacation. Be jealous. Another friend and I are in a competition to see who can get down to 125 fastest.