Finally back into the 130's! I hit 138 this morning, and I couldn't be happier. Well, technically yesterday morning. Right now it's 1:30am. I'm watching A Streetcar Named Desire, grading Research Methods papers, and picking up the apartment so Dinah doesn't have so many places to get lost. She's still tiny enough that she can get lost in a studio apartment.
Haven't gone over 500 calories in the last 5 days. Ironically, I feel like I have much more energy than normal (though that could be because having to wake up and feed the kitten at 8am is putting my sleep schedule back in order). Either way, I'm riding the high right now, wherever it's coming from. I've also stopped getting so upset at little problems in my life, academically, socially, romantically, or otherwise. Liam and I are getting along much better and my stress level has dropped. I know that's because I'm transferring all my stress to controlling food. But honestly, I'm not even registering hunger cues anymore. They just dropped off the map, and I'm sleeping like a baby.
Right now, in this moment, I am happy.
Hard to believe that less than a week ago I was suicidal. I guess I technically still am. Only, this is...well, painless. It feels good. If this is death, then...I guess I don't know what to think. Thirteen pounds to go until my UGW, and we'll see what happens from there.
I feel calm for the first time in a long time.
Aww! Getting back into the 130's is amazing. Especially when getting out of the 140's seems to be so difficult.
ReplyDeleteI feel I have more energy too which is funny considering this week and last week have been polar opposites in terms of what I have/haven't eaten and last week was just very ugh.
Feeling happy is good though. Especially when it seems to be such a rare thing. xx
You sound so relaxed. I wish I had the peace of mind and calmness that you seem to have at the moment.
ReplyDeleteI hope it lasts. Here's to happiness :)